The Two-Sided Coin

If there's one thing that frustrates me more than any other one thing on this earth, it is easily related to these two verses:

Revelation 3:15-16 - "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm-neither hot nor cold-I am about to spit you out of my mouth."

When I see this in action in myself or in those who are close to me, it always gives me that feeling in the pit of my gut like the walls are about to cave in and the floor is about give out from underneath me.
It's a sickened feeling too, especially when I catch myself doing it. Guilt swells up to the point where I feel physically ill and depressed. When I see it in my friends it starts a whirlwind of emotions from anger and bitterness toward the events and actions as well as toward them, and also sorrow and remorse because I know where they could be and I am powerless except to watch them slip.
To add to the situation, it's most painful to watch when the one you're observing doesn't care that what they are choosing to do is against what a loving relationship with Christ is like. Speaking reason to someone who's set their mind is like a matador trying to talk a bull into submission.

In Romans 7 (more specifically 7:15-24) Paul talks about how he does what he does not want to do, and what he does want to do, he can't seem to do it. It is the sinful nature that we are born with that compels us to behave like we do and the battle we wage with every step and every action is against that sinful nature. "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?" -Romans 7:24. I know Jesus is the one who freed us from the laws of Moses and of man, and I know that any Christian regardless of their actions is well aware of this, but can that fact justify our crude and hypocritical actions? Faith without deeds is dead! It's what we do that defines us as human beings, and the reasoning behind the actions are what define the actions themselves. If we are living for God, then He is the motivation behind our actions, not our own yearnings, desires and self-defined "needs".

If one is not living according to the plans and the relationship that Jesus has set out for them, aren't they then living against the plans of God? And if one is living against the plans that God has for them, can one truly say they believe in the Jesus that is presented to us in the bible? I repeat, faith without action is dead!

The Sweetness

So I can't help but have a meal now and feel like I need dessert afterward. I mean, no matter how full I get, or how delicious my lunch or dinner is, I'm always yearning for some sweetness on my tongue once I've downed my last bite. It's an intoxicating feeling sometimes, strong enough that I search or even scour my food stores looking for even a smidgen of sugar, hoping I'll find a misplaced candy bar or truffle. When I find something, oh boy does it hit the spot. It's like in that moment all that exists is the saccharine sensation sweeping itself across my palate, fulfilling my feening. And if I don't find something: it just doesn't feel like a complete meal. It feels like I've cheated myself out of a legitimate meal.
It's nice to indulge when I can, but man am I disappointed when I can't curb the craving.

I feel like this is so eerily similar to my relationship with God. I've tried so many substitutes, knowingly and unknowingly, willingly and unwillingly. I've made my home at the bottom of the rum bottle: didn't do the trick. I thought relationships with girls would fill the gap: (unbeknown to me, they only made it wider). I thought a career could be a stable platform to build from: but jobs are like shifting sands. I find television, internet, movies and books are a great way to waste time... The only thing that has sated the hunger in my heart has been the word of God.

What a revelation! I'm sure to any believer, anyone who has been transformed by the love of God in their lives, this revelation is a familiar one and the theology behind it is a founding principle of your faith. But unfortunately for me, it's one that needs to be re-reveled over and over in my life.

Thank you, God, for placing people around me that draw me closer to you.

A life of servitude

Doulos: "Slave" in ancient Greek. The biblical translation is "bond-servant" or servant. In today's language, it infers a serving attitude. The remembrance that "I" is insignificant in the big picture.

My job reminds me on a daily basis that I am not here to be self-righteous. As I walk along in my normal work day, saying, "I don't feel like helping you because I'm tired," or, "you're not one of my favorites so I'm not going to make the time for you," inherently would be a direct violation of my job description. My job is to provide for athletes in order to promote their health and well-being.

The same would be true in my Christian walk... If I decide that I don't feel like doing God's work today, or I don't feel like going through the hassle of representing a Christian lifestyle to those around me, it's a direct violation of the great commission: "Therefore, go and make disciples".

Just as Jesus stated in the garden the night before his crucifixion: "Father ... not my will, but yours be done," the daily walk should reflect the same attitude. We were not put on the earth to be on vacation before spending the rest of our eternal lives in paradise. We are here to work, to get our hands dirty, to overcome adversity, to represent Christ to the fullest, and to enhance the Kingdom and glory of God here on earth.
I have to catch myself daily trying to opt out of what might be the best treatment for an athlete, or the best way to respond to a joke or the best way to approach a situation in which I feel wronged in some way. My self-righteousness shouldn't overshadow the righteousness of God. What servant has earned their place at the dinner table by acting on selfish impulses?
Who am I to tell God that His work is not important?

I may think that I know how to best go about living in this universe, and I sometimes selfishly feel that my way is better than God's. But the last time I checked, I didn't create (nor do I run) this universe.